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You know, as a teenager I loved the thought of learning to drive.

As a parent, I hate knowing my kids have to be taught how to drive.

I am sure they will both be scarred for life & I really, really feel sorry for any kids they might have (in the far, far, hopefully never) future! On the other hand, I have to giggle with the thought of sweet revenge when I think they will one day be sitting next to a teenager of their own with absolutely no power to stop or steer that 2,000 pound vehicle.

Why does the law recognise that teenagers are immature, science tell us that their brains are not fully developed, therapists publish that the young are fearless and impulsive, and grandparents remind us that they lived through it, and then all of them agree that these "under-developed, irrational, danger-seeking, hooligans" need to be taught to drive AND WE (the parents) are responsible for teaching them?

that is totally screwed up!

So the 2 methods I employed while simultaneously practicing diligent meaningful prayer and kegal exercises in the passenger seat are these:

1- Breathing. practise in the parking lot because for the next 45 minutes you wont.

2- Repetition. the teen driving thrives on repetition so repeat the following phrases (gender specific) several times and be sure to vary the pitch, for some reason they tend to "hear and obey" at higher octaves;
        

                            *phrases to use for teenage boy drivers, "look out, look out, WATCH IT, stay in your lane, slow down, slow down, SLOW DOWN, STOP-STOP-STOP!!!!!!!!"

                            *phrases to use for teenage girl drivers, "speed up, speed up, WATCH IT, stay on the road, speed up, speed up, STOP, STOP, STOP!!!!!!!!"

I imagine if you were crazy enough to have a 3rd teenager there would be no gender specifies code and the appropriate phrases would sound something like this...

                          * Speed up, WATCH IT, SLOW DOWN, OMG, #%*&@!*, *%^&#@!!!, @^%&#$@*&!@*%^$#!!!!!!!!, STOP, STOP, STOP!!!!!

After the 3rd, the only appropriate phrase should be;

                        * it's a lovely day for a walk...


"Are you scared yet?"