Monday, March 9, 2009


Ever had one of those days? I was having a wonderful morning, then I looked on the calender and noticed what day it was. Not even the day, particularly, but the month. March holds allot of family birthdays, my anniversary, and a very dear loss.

My mother's birthday is the 16th. What would I ever do without my mom? This wonderful woman who worries so much about my siblings and me. I wonder sometimes what I will do when it's time to say good-bye and know she won't be ready to go because one of us will need her. It is true that "a mother's work is never done". I am so grateful that I have always been able to live close to her after I married, and cherished the moments when I have had her all to myself.

Grandma's birthday is the 17th. Grandma was a force to be reckoned with when she was alive!
Married to an Irish catholic from a wealthy background, she knew how to get her way, from bossing grandpa at the beginning of their first date to the time she gave him permission "to go on ahead" when he passed away, she held on to her temper and her humor. She was a woman of resource and thrift, and the creator of many dolls, dresses, and snug-rugs. If only every child could be blessed with a grandmother like mine! There would be world peace or we would all regret it!!

My husband's birthday is on the 24th. when I look back on all the things we've been through I feel like there are so many things I would like to go back and change!! Of course we can never go back, only forward but I seem to repeat my mistakes over and over again. I know there are days when getting out of bed is all he can do,and the days when he thinks what life has to offer isn't worth the work, but he gets up anyway, and takes what's handed him. This year has been hard on him both physical and emotional. Have you ever seen your husband cry? Not a comfortable thing is it? I find myself hoping and praying that God will keep him close. That we can learn to hold strong to our love for each other and raise our children together. One of my greatest fears is having to let go of him while we are so young. We have children to raise and memories to record. I want to be one of those old couples that walk with our canes supporting us while we stroll the park and feed the birds. To celebrate 50 years together would be wonderful, but what if I only get twenty? Will he know how much I love him?, forgive me all the hurts bestowed?, Will God see the marriage as it should be or as it is? Marriage is hard work! But knowing that at the end of the day I have the same wonderful man snuggled up next to me makes me love being alive! He does all he can do with what he is given, and maybe he doesn't see it, but that's all I ask of him, and all I really want.

My birthday is the 28th. I have had to do allot of growing up, and it hasn't been easy! I continually fall back into bad habits I am trying to get rid of!! However, it is very liberating to leave the immaturity of my 20's behind. I find that with every passing year I like myself a little more, love my family a little more, count my blessings a little more, and give a little more of myself into God's hands. I'm hoping that with all he has shown me in the last 12 months he has something in store that will make me into the daughter he needs. I believe everything happens for a reason, I just don't want to fall short of expectations. What I really want is to live every season as I was meant to so at the end I can present my "harvest" to the Lord and hear him say" well done my good and faithful servant".

"To everything there is a season..." And spring is one of fresh starts.

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I am a wife by choice, mother by chance, massage therapist by trade, and saved by grace.